Wham Bam Thank You, Glam!

Any excuse to wear a tiara.

Dear reader, by now I'm sure you know that I prefer the comfort of a pair of broken-in blue jeans and nothing else to most garments out there. Yes, I make my own costumes, but I take them off to entertain people. I'm freckled and I have windblown, sun streaked hair. I'll roll into the same "not leaving the house" clothes for several days in a row. I'm not a glamour puss. I hate buying shoes.

The big problem is that my wardrobe is lacking in the glam department, and part of my job is being fancy (i.e., looking fancy before and after some fancy shows, going to events as a Person Who Must Look Fancy). Another problem is that I have to look fancy out of a suitcase. Merch and costumes are more important to me than fitting in yet another stupid pair of shoes and appropriate foundations for an outfit I'm not taking off to entertain people. I don't want to have to press and hang and dry clean another thing. (Most of my dresses are wash & wear or day dresses that I've made. Low maintenance. That's me.)

Despite all protestations, the casual girl is required to be a Person Who Must Look Fancy from time to time. Instead of making yet another cute day dress that shows too much cleavage to double as day job wear, I made a gown. It was a simple gown, a Very Easy Vogue pattern that I tackled within five hours. I made it out of spandex because I can wash it on the road and it will dry quickly. (If I work in a smoky club and wear it out the door, it can dry in the shower overnight.) It also won't wrinkle. Low maintenance; that's what I want. It's not terribly supportive in the chest department, but it covers everything.

There is one more thing I absolutely love about spandex, and that's the fact you don't have to hand or machine hem it. Glorious heat and bond does the trick.  I used this on my dress for the Pas de Deux and it's still holding strong. Test it on a scrap of your fabric before using it for a hem. It's incredible. I used a little to tack down the lining in the front and the back because I'm so bad at dressing myself I would probably walk around with it pulled slightly out.

I highly recommend this pattern. It's Very Easy Vogue V8358. Suggested fabrics are silk jersey, stretch velvet, and matte jersey. (I'm a renegade with my spandex.) The important thing is that your fabric has some stretch and drapes nicely. It took me about four hours to make this dress, and I added fancy topstitching to make it look commercially produced.

BHOF Weekend Crafting Challenge - Results

For Burlesque Hall of Fame Reunion Weekend this year, I was stuck at home again. I proposed a crafting challenge for the folks who were at home, theoretically twiddling their thumbs: use the weekend to make one dress, one hair flower, and one pair of pasties. I got my dress hemmed in the week after BHOF, but I got everything else done in that Thursday through Sunday period. (I finally got a photo of the completed dress yesterday.)

The hair flowers were cheap flowers I picked up at WalMart in May. I had all the other supplies (including rhinestones in the right colors.)

I bought the fabric months ago, and planned to turn it into either a dress or curtains. I had the pattern on hand from one of those fantastic pattern sales at JoAnn Fabrics a few years ago. I bought the zipper and replenished my coral thread; those were my out-of-pocket expenses.

I went out-of-pocket the most on the pasties. I had to buy the flowers for the pasties because it was for a costume that was due a couple weeks later.

I may do this again next year whether I'm at BHOF or not. It was incredibly productive and not very expensive. I hope some of you got some crafting done for this challenge as well.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I focus on the audience when I perform. Without them, I wouldn't have a job. I try not to let on when something goes wrong. (If something goes so wrong they notice, I tend to acknowledge it, smile, and move on.)

When I was in Fresno a couple weeks ago, I did my new California Sunset. The number involves crawling ... in fishnets. If you've worn fishnets, you know how uncomfortable this can be. But I wanted this choreography so I just roll with it. I was fine Friday night.  Saturday night I had a small issue.  I got backstage after my number, a bit winded because I'm working my way through some severe anemia, trying to catch my breath and even out my heart rate. I had a pastie that was about to pop off. I sat down and fished out my bikini top for curtain call so I could avoid any pastie pop issues. I know we're doing group photos and photos with patrons after curtain call, so I put away my costume pieces so it would be easier to roll out when the patrons were gone. As I'm folding and hanging things, I noticed my knee is bleeding. It wasn't dripping with blood and there's no pain, but it's noticeable on my fishnets. The final performer was almost finished and curtain call was next and my knee had a blood spot.

Time to do a quick patch job so I could pose for photos and patrons wouldn't focus on my injury. I carry a container of bandages in my handbag. (I got the container from my doctor's office. I recommend you take advantage of the little promotional freebies that could be useful.) I pulled down a thigh high, sprayed my little wound with some antibacterial spra,y and slapped a bandage over it. I then spit on my thumb and forefinger and massaged the blood stain out of my fishnets. (Your own saliva will remove your own bloodstains.) Rolled the fishnet back in place (with backseam), and made it onto the stage in time for my spot in curtain call. No one noticed, no one commented. I don't think I even mentioned it to the other dancers.

I took the picture when I got home on Sunday. You can see the scrape and some bruising. The important thing is that the audience didn't. :)

Topless Vlog #46

Here it is!

I say a quick and topless hello from Fresno after a couple nights of shows on the road.

Crystyler Review

As you may know, I'm always on the lookout for a way to speed up my process.  I got two Crystylers a few months ago when a friend bragged about them. They come in ss16 (pink tool) and ss20 (blue tool). I spent more time working with the ss16 tool, but I'll review both.

I tried the pink tool with three grades of rhinestones: acrylic from China via Amazon,
Preciosa Czech glass, and Swarovski crystals. I used all of these stones on my boa balls.

I had a bitch of a time loading the tool with acrylic stones at first. When I was ready to throw the damn thing across the room as stones kept falling out, my husband took over. He had no problem loading it. I was pulling back the metal plunger and trying to pick up the stones with no internal tension in the tool. He discovered pretty quick that the tool loaded up pretty easy if you stabbed the stones (gem side up) one after another, much like spearing trash with one of those handy sticks. I calmly took over spearing and stoning duties. To use efficiently, I put down a dot or strand of glue. Holding the tool like I was going to stab someone, I used the thumb tab to release individual stones onto the glue. I recommend using silicon fingertip covers or a toothpick to move the individual stones into the perfect place. I also recommend checking the spearing tip and the plastic area that holds the stones for glue before you reload the tool. Pick that stuff off to make your life better.

I then tried loading the higher quality stones (glass and crystal). The tool would jam, the stones would turn in the barrel, the tip would pop off, I would swear. No matter how many times I tried the better stones, it would jam up and screw up if I managed to load more than 10 stones. I would not recommend the tool for the nicer stones because it becomes a waste of time.  (I think the better stones are cut rounder so they flip easier. The acrylics have a flatter top so they rest on one another very nicely inside the tool.)

I tried the blue tool this week. I attempted Swarovskis, but the tool would jam and the tip would pop. I didn't grind at it as many times as I did with the pink tool. It was easy to see the shape of the top with the larger stones. I had more success with Clarus crystals from Nova in downtown LA. (I've seen a sign that declared these "Real Korean Rhinestone," which is now how I reference them. 10 gross of ss20 for $17.99 was a pretty good deal.) They're not the same quality as Swarovski, but they're not as flat as acrylics. They worked okay in the tool, but I couldn't load more than 15 without the tool jamming. The larger tool has a larger tip, and I had stones falling out more than once. The tip got spread out, and the stones would rest inside the tube like the proverbial hot dogs down a hallway. I don't know that it really saved me time on the project I was doing, but it did keep my fingertips from becoming disgusting from stray glue.

You can get the tools online from Amazon, or you can hit JoAnn Fabrics with one of their fabulous coupons. They cost about $20 with no discount. Don't expect them to be miraculous, but they can help with the rhinestone process if you have reasonable expectations.

BHOF Weekend Crafting Challenge

My BHOF weekend plans

Not at Burlesque Hall of Fame Reunion Weekend? Neither am I. I know my feed is going to fill up with people having all sorts of sparkly fun. Rather than sitting at home and feeling left out (when I'm not watching the Stanley Cup Finals), I'm going to get busy crafting. I invite you to join me in the following challenge.

This BHOF weekend, I will push myself to make:

• one pair of pasties
• one hair flower
• one dress

I'm not including the costume I'm tailoring or the skirt I'm making for that costume in the challenge, but I hope to get those completed this weekend as well. I'm also not including any work I'll do to help Mr. Snapper complete a prop commission.

I'm going to make these things from start to finish between now and Sunday night (when BHOF weekend ends). I'll share photos as I complete each one. My goal is to make everything with materials I have at home now, particularly since one of the reasons I didn't go to BHOF was financial. (The dress will probably be a day dress because I have the pattern and fabric sitting in my craft room, waiting for the opportunity to make it. I have a couple flowers I got on sale at JoAnn's that just need to be attached to clips and rhinestoned. The pasties will probably be for my new number.) If I knock all these projects out of the ballpark, I may just make an underbra from scratch. I'm leaving that out of the challenge because chances are good that my fellow crafters don't have bra supplies just lying around.

I hope you join me in the challenge and fill up my feed with your projects. If you get lost, need help or inspiration, let me know.

Let's make sparkly magic this weekend!

Topless Vlog #45

Vlog is here.

I'm back after a few weeks out sick and traveling. I ramble about hockey playoffs, talk about Doodlebug's recent illness, show a hair flower crafting project, and give the upcoming schedule of performances. Buster has missed vlogging and is prominent in this episode.

LINKS:
Doodlebug pillow
6/12 The Lusty Library: a Lusty Kitten Production
6/16 and 6/23 Monday Night Tease Presents Goonies Boobies at Hollywood Fringe Festival
6/21 Yadi Presents Gotham Vixens