NOPE! My Favorite Self-Created Award

I came home from the Texas Burlesque Festival Saturday afternoon. Competition for audience choice was tough. Performances on Friday and Saturday nights were fierce. The chance of not winning is far greater than the chance of winning.

I learned long ago that festivals and competitions may have little prizes, but the more important takeaway is friendships. Meeting people, reconnecting with folks, making friends holds far greater value than a statue, sash or prize to me. I saw so many friends that I haven't seen in years. I had an absolute blast. I have only positive things to say about this festival.

I wanted to commemorate the experience. I also wanted a damn Barbie.

I wanted her to look a little trashy.

So I made one. My amazing Austin hostess, Dolce Dream, joined me on an adventure to find the right Barbies for our loser awards after Friday's show. We started our decorations before retiring for the night. I had to wait until I got home to order the supplies to complete my statue.

I started with Farmer Barbie. I like to call her Chicken Barbie because she came with her own chicken.

She's so Texas. Also, my grandfather was a chicken farmer.

I chopped up a necklace to make her crown.

So innocent. So pretty. Just you wait, Chicken Barbie.

I glued blue glitter to her lids and penned in some runny mascara.

Looking more and more like the Hole "Live Through This" album cover.

I bought a stand and a wooden base. They don't look as groovy as the actual winner Barbies but they'll work.

Simple 7" diameter wood round. I had to keep the boots on her.

I bought an outfit as close to the Hole outfit as I could find. I made a sash from twill tape and rhinestones, titling it with a Sharpie. "NOPE" seemed to be the funniest thing to put on the sash. I'm all about the comedy.

Pretty hot mess.

I decorated her chicken and added my own titles for the trophy at the bottom. The titles I've given myself are absolutely true. They're also hilarious. I'm glad the crew enjoyed the fact that I danced to the Benny Hill theme.

Loser & her loser chicken.

To celebrate the act I did this year, I put a clump of her hair in her hand. If you've seen the act you know why.

I think I may put her on my bar with a bunch of my hockey bobbleheads. I'm so delighted with how she turned out. She's a wonderful trinket to commemorate my joys from this year's festival.

I wonder if I should burlesque every competition trophy when I don't win...