From 2013 to 2014

With Lili & Richard. (C) Nanette Gonzales, LA Weekly

I'm a little late with my annual review of all things Snapper. I've been seduced by the world of hockey, and I spend a nice amount of my down time watching Kings games live or on television. (By "down time" I mean I'm eating, working out, or sewing while I watch. Going to games is like a vacation from my "down time" work.)

Here's what 2013 held for me:

Hollywood Burlesque Festival (C) SH Photo 2013

• 50 performances in 39 shows. One show and one performance less than 2012, but 2013 was a big year for me otherwise. I focused on quality and longevity last year. This totals 372 performances in the six years I've been doing burlesque (at the end of 2012).
• Taught lots of privates. I also taught in Las Vegas and Hot Springs. I taught at Greater Los Angeles Area Mensa Regional Gathering, What Katie Did on Melrose, and Hollywood Burlesque Festival.
• Performed in two inaugural festivals: Las Vegas Burlesque Festival and Hollywood Burlesque Festival.
• Short touring hops to Dallas twice, Hot Springs twice, Ft. Worth, Houston, and Las Vegas (a short tour before their festival). I love seeing friends and family and making new friends when I travel. It's great to see these folks at least once a year.
• Continuing education. In 2013 I took classes with Stephanie Blake and Tiffany Carter. I returned to Slimmons after some time away. I also returned to ballet. I continue to work with a choreographer to help me shape some of my ideas for better presentation. I completed two online sewing classes via Craftsy: handbag design & construction and tailoring.
• Improvements in the workshop.  I got a serger! I've been able to tailor a 2012 Kings Stanley Cup tee, make a couple pieces of lingerie, work on the husband's Batman cape, and slap a finishing edge on a wedding dress with it so far. I turned my home desk into a cutting table with a big cutting mat. I bought a pair of Gingher thread nippers, and took advantage of the notions sales at Joann Fabrics to get pattern weights and a rotary cutter for detail. I stocked up on silamide and made a pressing ham. Andrew got a new drill for fan staves and headdresses.
• Created two new acts, revamped an act from late 2012, made the mermaid tail, and created the Rewedding dress. We had to rework some of the choreography to make the Rewedding dress fit the "Skin" choreography, but it worked brilliantly.
• I was part of the burlesque theater scene for James Franco's upcoming Bukowski film.  I chorographed, costumed, and performed. It was a fun day of shooting. I don't know when the film will be released or how much of me you'll actually see, but it was a wonderful experience.
• Hollywood Burlesque Festival. Andrew and I were on the producer team for over a year, and last year there was enough momentum in the community and determination from Exec Producer Lili vonSchtupp to get it off the ground. This event took up most of the last quarter of the year. We made headdresses, created web content, performed in fundraisers, sought sponsors, and watched tons of submission videos. I embellished the costumes for the finale, served as finale understudy, choreographed the two waves of community dancers who joined the showgirls in the finale, and made garments for fundraiser auctions. I coordinated weekly visits to Slimmons for the burlesque community and liased with sponsor and friend Richard Simmons. (His mother Shirley was a fan dancer. I had the joy of making white feather fans like Shirley's for him.) Performing, teaching, working with the judges -- it was quite an event. I'm lucky to have been part of the entire event. I've been a little lame on the blog front since the event because it was so intense!
• The Rewedding. That was quite an accomplishment for me last year. I've waxed on and on about how amazing it was. That's because it was amazing.

  

  With Glama Sutra, Prix de Beaute & James Franco

   I would remarry Mr. Snapper every day if I could. If you haven't watched the video, it'll give you a big smile.

What's in the works for 2014?

• An instructional video. I'll give more details as I get closer to production. It will be unique and fun. This will probably be my first crowd-funded endeavor.
• Tour hops to Arkansas and Texas. Maybe a couple more festivals. I'm performing at the Great Burlesque Exposition in Boston on my birthday, then Mr. Snapper and I are performing at Southwest Burlesque Showcase the following weekend.
• A brief European tour. I'm plotting and planning with my tour mate so we can make it happen. I'll announce tour dates when everything is secured. Plans are for autumn.
• Hollywood Burlesque Festival! We're bringing you more awesome this year.
• More new skills. I've enrolled in an online class on speedy sewing techniques. Still working on the ballet (I have dreams of doing pointe work eventually), and still hitting Slimmons.
• I'd like to get published again. I have to investigate what to do to make that happen.

Snapper Rewedding: Table Cameras

We put out cameras at every table for the rewedding. Most of the photos didn't turn out, but we're sharing all the photos that did turn out. If you're on Facebook, tag yourself.

Camera #1
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Snapper Rewedding; The Ceremony

Did you miss the Rewedding or do you just want to relive the bliss? See the ceremony!

Topless Vlog #34

New topless vlog is here!

 

I talk about the Hollywood Burlesque Festival fundraiser, rewedding stuff, whip out a puppet, and Buster loses his shit.

LINKS:
Hollywood Burlesque Festival 

Hollywood Burlesque Festival fundraiser 

Website 

Blog 

Facebook 

Get some rewedding stickers (paypal $1 to msredsnapper at gmail)

Topless Vlog #33

A quick hello in the afterglow of the rewedding, Red shows a special gift from June Gloom, shows her rewedding "yearbook," and talks money.

Snapper Rewedding: The Postcard

Snapper Rewedding: Domestic Bliss

Makeup & hair by Vivienne Vermuth, photo by Modern Noir Studios, body by Snapper

From our December photo shoot with Modern Noir Studios.  I like cupcakes, he likes pipes.  I like argyle, he likes me being domestic while nude.

Snapper Rewedding: Save the Date

Tickets are already available.  Visit Monday Night Tease for details.

Topless Vlog #32

Here it is, at long last!  I've been so occupied with my rewedding and preoccupied with my dad's stroke that I haven't been able to vlog for a couple weeks.

I about the rewedding (corset, tulle, garter, show), says a hearty hello to Mike Schmidt, and plugs the final Tarantino burlesque tribute show at Monday Night Tease.

LINKS:
Rewedding 
Mike Schmidt & the 40-Year-Old-Boy podcast 

Snapper Rewedding: Joy and Pain

Joy: Batman wedding garter

I'm deep into costuming mode for the rewedding.  There are things I have to make for myself (corset, skirt, unders & pasties), things I have to make for participants (bras & panties with panel skirts), and things I have to make for the audience (like the toss bouquet I made a couple weeks ago).  After some challenges with elastic lace and following a tutorial that didn't turn out as I wished, I finally found a winning formula for the garters.

Yes.  That's the Batman symbol because Andrew is Batman in another show, and he's a huge fan of Batman.  Why not really personalize the garter?  The lace is some leftover vintage lace I was given by a dear friend that I used floral spray paint to color for the trim beneath the ostrich boas on my robe.  I bought a roll of 100 yards of aqua ribbon for $8 and have used that for almost everything I've done.  The rosette is from an unsuccessful purchase of flowers for snapper finger puppets; the flowers are just too big for the finger puppets.  The coral ribbon is from the feather fans I made for Bukowski.  I had some elastic in my supply boxes.  Once I found the right set of instructions I was able to crank out two in less than an hour.

That's right.  Two garters.  One is for keeping, and one is for tossing into the audience.  I really want the audience to have a great time and to be able to take home memories from this show.  I couldn't scrimp on the toss garter.

Pain: water damage & gluey shoes

I hunted eBay for a great pair of shoes with a low enough heel that I could move well in them.  I found these dyed shoes for under $12 with shipping included.  The description said they were floor samples, so there would be light wear and tear.  I don't recall seeing any photos of the glue stains I discovered when I opened the envelope of shoes yesterday.  I tried to scrub the spots away with a toothbrush, assuming they were dirt.  That didn't work.  I then hit them with the tiniest bit of water.  That washed away some of the dye.  Shit.

You would think that I would know about the care of dyed shoes.  Nope.  I wore black pleather shoes to all of the proms I attended.  I wore white pleather shoes at the first wedding.  I tend to wear leather, pleather, or embellished shoes.  This is my first pair of dyed "satin" shoes.

So with a little bit of water I fucked up my shoes.  Good thing I bought more rhinestones Saturday so I can hide that shit with sparkle.  Since the shoes are "satin," I can use GemTac instead of E6000.  I wasn't expecting to have this as a chore, so I'm going to try to make the most of it.  My plan is to cover the toes and the heels because that's where the damage is.  Fingers crossed it works.

Snapper Rewedding: Nosegays Galore

Bottom bouquet for me, top one gets tossed.

A few weeks ago I did a web search for silk flower bouquets for sale.  I didn't find anything I really loved.  I also found that the prices, while appropriate for materials and labor, were not what I wanted to pay.  I'm far too crafty to spend $125 for a bouquet that's not as custom as I deserve.  I decided to make my own bouquet.  While I was at it, I made corsages and boutonnieres as well.

I used this site as a guide for my bouquet.  The basic technique is the same for everything I made.  You clip all the stems to one length and use floral tape to build around a center grouping.  Once the bouquet is big enough, you wrap the stems of the bundle with floral tape then wrap the floral tape with ribbon.  I used craft glue on the bouquet then realized it would take forever for the glue to dry so I started using hot glue.

Wrapped in single-sided satin ribbon.

I'm keeping the big, fancy bouquet.  I made a small toss bouquet to throw into the audience.  I used the same technique and a smaller bundle of flowers.  My bridesmaids will all make their own bouquets in the same method.  (I don't want them to feel completely left out of the pre-production fun.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Buster rolled around on the shooting surface before the shot.

The boutonnieres are like tiny bouquets that need room for a pin.  I considered making them larger when Andrew said, "It is a burlesque wedding."  Then I held the XL version against his shirt and we agreed it was too much.  Half of the boutonnieres can accommodate pins, and half have pin curl clips attached to the back.  Some of the groomsmen will be wearing outfits that won't work with pins.

 

 

 

 

 

Spy Kitten's corsage

I used this site as a guide for the corsages.  Again, these are like tiny bouquets.  I used the wires in the silk flowers to shape the bundles so they could ride on wrists instead of in fists.  Some instructions recommend cutting a hole in ribbon to feed the stems through, then tying the ribbon on the wrist. I don't want to risk them falling off, but they have to fit wrists for which I don't have measurements.  I hot glued them to lingerie elastic.  I was going to stitch them to the elastic, but I didn't want to worry about them shifting around inside the stitches.  Hot glue formed a nice bond so I didn't follow up with reinforcement stitches.

Lili vonSchtupp's corsage

I spent about $140 on flowers, floral tape, butterflies and ribbon.  I had the pin curl clips and lingerie elastic in stock at home.  I made one large bouquet, one toss bouquet, two corsages, six boutonnieres, and had enough leftover flowers for three bridesmaids' bouquets.  It helped that some of my blooms were on sale as seasonal (spring) flowers.

Topless Vlog #31

Latest Topless Vlog is here!  I talk about rewedding projects (which I'll blog about soon).

Topless Vlog #30

It's here!

Red Snapper gives a quick hello before zipping off to the DFW for the weekend.

LINKS:
6/14 Broads & Panties Sunset Strip
6/15 Time Traveler's Ball

Snapper Rewedding: Arranging Flowers

Thanks to Rex for hunting for these in Vegas!

I decided to do something a bit unconventional for the rewedding.  Instead of live flower arrangements, I'm getting hair flowers and decorating the club with those.  After the ceremony folks can pluck a hair flower and take it home with them.

I have 39 flowers, thanks to my friend Rex the Impossible hitting the swap meet in Vegas last weekend.  I just need to get 61 more.  Every little favor the audience gets, the more worth the price of admission I think the show will be.

Snapper Rewedding: You Get 99 Cock Rings But I'm Keeping One

Can't wait to stuff my boxes!

I am all about getting things done early so I'm not crazy at the last minute.  It's something I learned in college after so many late night term papers and set designs.  (I threw a set model across the room hours before it was due because I was having problems with the material and too little time to problem solve.)

I got mini take-out boxes in two colors to hold the wedding favors.  If you know me by now, you won't be surprised that I bought three kinds of samples, took measurements and researched the best way to package everything up.  After testing the three sample boxes that made the cut, we agreed on the style and I ordered them in the best colors available (closest to the wedding colors).  While they're 'berry' instead of coral and 'paradise blue' instead of aqua, I think they'll work quite nicely.  I've started assembling the boxes so I can stuff them when I've finally decided I'm done getting wedding favors.

Cock rings a-plenty!

I ordered the last favor a month ago from China.  We were brainstorming about what sorts of favors people would most enjoy when I shouted, "Ooooooh!  Cock rings!"  That's right.  The last favor is cock rings.  Cock rings.  Cock rings.  I just like saying it.  Cock rings.  And typing it.  Cock rings.  When I ejaculated, "Ooooooh!  Cock rings!" it was a joke.  Within two seconds I was all, "Dooooood!  Yes!  Cock rings.  I'm ordering some."  I spent hours hunting for an affordable cock ring that didn't have too many bells and whistles (or LEDs or spikes or machinery or garden animals).  I had to find something simple, affordable, and available in bulk.  It took a month and two trips to the post office, but I'm now the proud owner of 100 pink and purple cock rings.  They look like funny gummy finger cots.  I'm looking forward to  99 of them being packed into boxes.  (I had to keep one for posterity.  Yeah, that's the ticket.  Posterity.  Cock rings.)  My guests that don't/can't pack them into their own boxes can use them as Chinese finger cuffs.

 Cock rings.  (Just had to put it in there one more time.)

Snapper Rewedding: All the Grooms

My Snapper grooms are finally finished.  I used the same process for these that I did for the brides.  I embellished them with tiny plastic top hats.  I had intended to put bowties on them, but I couldn't find ready-made bows that would work.  I tried gluing tiny ribbon bands around the hats, but hot glue is a bit of a disaster when you're working in such a small scale.  I then bought tiny ribbon flowers in hopes I could glue them to the top hats, but they were way too big to look right.  Next to the brides, Andrew thought they look complete enough.  I agree that they make a nice pair.

So how did I make these little finger puppets?  I'll tell you because you never know when you'll need a bunch of tiny finger puppets for a fairly low price.  I turned every glove inside out and ran a line of anti-fray adhesive along the bottom of each finger.  I did one side then the other, then I touched up the sides.  Once the glue was completely dry, I cut each finger on or just below the glue line with scissors.  The job was a bit too delicate for me to use my rotary cutter.  I turned the fingers inside out and hot glued on the features.  It's pretty tough to work with hot glue and such tiny features, so I recommend having plenty of patience as you work through any kind of small scale project like this.

I have one more favor arriving for the favor boxes and I think the wedding favors will be complete.  I located mini takeout boxes in the right colors on Oriental Trading's website that I'll have to order in the coming weeks.  Maybe I can use the ribbon flowers on those.

Topless Vlog #29

Latest vlog is here!

In this episode, I look smart (wearing glasses) while talking about an upcoming debut and rewedding tasks.

Snapper Rewedding: Snapper's Getting Serious

Teenagers in love, 1993

A borrowed dress.  A loaned bouquet.  A choir tuxedo.  Cakes from my mother-in-law's co-worker.  Kismet location that my father coincidentally was putting the roof on when my mother went into labor with me.  Things fell into place for us when we were married in 1993.

We didn't register for our wedding.  I didn't care about dishes or matching linens.  I was fine sleeping on Batman sheets in a twin bed where we had to squeeze two pillows side by side.  I knew we needed plastic containers for leftovers.  (I came from a large family.  It took a long time for me to learn how to cook for two.)  I didn't know what to do with a crock pot (much less two of them).  We just took what we got, used what we could, and returned a lot of gifts to the store to help us pay for food and rent when we first hit university.

The rewedding is different.  We've registered with Macy's and we're adding gifts to the registry every day.  We know what we need to run an adult household so we're not asking for Twister or a Power Rangers shower curtain.  Everything is practical.  It took twenty years to reach this kind of practicality.

While we've registered for practical gifts, our event will still hold some impractical, youthful delight.  I'm in the process of making 200 finger puppets: 100 Snapper brides and 100 Snapper grooms.  Our Crocodile Rock number marries Andrew's love of puppets with my love of fabulousness, and we invite the audience to share in our loves and ridiculousness with Snapper hand puppets to sing along.  We hear tales from people who have these silly giveaway puppets about how our Snappers have become part of their lives.  Some keep them on shelves with treasured possessions, others tell about how their children enjoy the puppets, and we hear tale of pets having a fondness for these little guys.

Snapper brides

To that end, we're populating our favor packs with one bride and one groom to go forth and penetrate even more lives with Snapperocity.  I've been working on the brides this week.  Because we're making so many and there isn't a planned sing along in the rewedding, we decided to make finger puppets instead of hand puppets.  Each bride is wearing a veil and a coral bow.  I'll start on the grooms next week.

I have no idea how many wedding favors are appropriate per guest.  We had no favors at our teenage wedding.  Since our rewedding is going to be a show (with admission so the performers are compensated), I want the guests to leave with a pocket full of treasures to remember their participation in our celebration.

Topless Vlog #28

Latest topless vlog is here!

I talk about the newest number and upcoming shows, her part (with the pups) in the Wild Things book, and the upcoming Snapper Rewedding.

LINKS:
5/20 Monday Night Tease
Wild Things: Burlesque Beauties & the Pets They Love
5/10 Burlesque Goes Pop
Bathhouse Soapery & Caldarium

Snapper Rewedding: First Steps

On August 14th of this year, Mr. Snapper and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.  When we planned our teenage wedding, I didn't want anything big or fancy; I just wanted to change my taxpayer name and spend the rest of my life with my best friend.  My mother-in-law was the one who pushed for the ceremony, preparing everything behind the scenes at the last minute.  She borrowed and bought everything for our cobbled-together wedding.  It was adorable and well attended, but it was more of "what a ceremony is supposed to be" than a reflection of who we were as a couple.  The wedding date was pushed from July to August because of a strange illness that had me on intravenous antibiotics for six weeks.  My mother-in-law had ten days to slam her only son's wedding together, my sister-in-law called all of our friends and family to attend, and my father-in-law performed the ceremony.

Parts of the wedding were very much us.  We selected the music.  I let my dad wear jeans and a leather vest to give me away because he was a biker.  Our friends were in the wedding party and a friend sang at the wedding.  The vows, the borrowed dress, the borrowed bouquet, the communion -- while lovely and very fitting for some folks, just weren't us.  Of course, we weren't the interesting people we are now.

Andrew and I have known each other slightly longer than we've been working together creatively (by maybe a few minutes), and we were married six months after we met.  Over the past two decades we've become more interesting people, and it's awesome that we've done it together.  We decided two years ago that we wanted to have a new ceremony on our twentieth anniversary, but this time it was going to be planned and executed by the two of us.  Because we're entertainers the rewedding is going to be a show event.

Since New Year's we've been working diligently on the rewedding: picking colors, hunting for awesome favors, selecting our wedding party, working out the structure of the show, looking for new wedding bands, thinking about music playlists, figuring out wardrobe.  I understand why people schedule some time between the proposal and their first ceremony for all the odds & ends of throwing a wedding.  The players in this event won't all be the same as the original wedding, but this is a Snapper event in Los Angeles so the wedding participants are all performing.

Special thanks to Jessie & Charlene for making this happen!

We met in Hot Springs, Arkansas, and it was a love at first sight situation when we actually met.  Since that's where I was born, where we met, and where we were initially wed, we wanted to have a taste of our younger lives in our wedding favors.  The folks at Bathhouse Soapery & Caldarium accommodated my last-minute request to make 100 bars of our favorite soap, Bathhouse Couture, for pick-up while we were in town this weekend.  The bars have a hint of glitter, making them perfect for a burlesque rewedding.  Each bar is individually wrapped and has a special label just for our event.

I'll share bits and pieces of the planning of the rewedding since I have so many friends and family who won't be able to attend.  Our event is August 12th, two days before our actual anniversary.  Watch this space for the official announcement.