Monday, May 23, 2016

Dear Light Operator

Dear Light Operator,

Thank you for making sure I'm well lit during my performance. A nice wash that makes my skin look good would be fantastic. I work hard to select my costume colors and I want the audience to see the hues I selected. I make many of my items from scratch because these colors don't exist in off-the-rack stripper wear. There's no need to show off your lighting skills by cycling through all the colors you have. My peach gown doesn't need to look black. I would've selected a black gown from Amazon if I wanted a black gown. My skin doesn't need to look green. My blue dress doesn't need to be lit with blue light because it's already blue. But you already know that, right?

That nice wash that makes my skin look good would be great. If you're lighting me with gels, I recommend a soft peach or a bastard amber. As a matter of fact, I DID study lighting design in college. We had to light all sorts of shows, and I collaborated with designers to make the entire production look as good as possible. The lighting designers lit my costumes with presentational lighting when we did presentational plays. They didn't decide to hit the strobes during a musical number because they thought people should have seizures during that song. The song was exciting enough.

Did I mention a nice wash? It's okay if it's a little pink. I'm not dancing to "Roxanne" so there's no need to put on the red light. For most of my numbers I don't really need a change in the lighting. You can tell me the options for a disco ball and rotating lights before the number and I can easily give you a decision then. You don't have to wait until I'm in the middle of my performance to remember you have those options available. If you don't remember to discuss the lighting choices with me before the show, you can just stick with that nice wash and forget about those lighting options for the three to six minutes I'm on that stage.

I know you typically work with lighting bands. That's cool. My brother was in a band. He wore jeans and t-shirts for his performances. My husband was in a band back in the '90s. He wore flannel shirts and whatever jeans he could find. I'm pretty sure I just want a nice wash of lighting on my mint costume. No, it's mint on purpose. The green flannel my husband wore was less intentional since his shows were all about the music. It was okay if he was bathed in green and red light. Nice wash for me, thanks. Just want that skin to look good and my costume to look like the color that it actually is.

Oh, you have a spotlight? Do you have someone who operates it regularly? If so, I'll take some wash and a spotlight. Oh, your cousin's going to do it to help you out because the spotlight is new. Let's just do the wash. It'll be easier. Yes, I'm sure.

Thanks so much for chatting with me before the show. That peachy wash really will look great on my skin and my costume.

Thank you so much. I studied some lighting design in college, so I appreciate all the work that goes into what you do.

Peach Wash,