Monday, February 27, 2012

Life Choices

"I just want you to be happy." - my mother, upon hearing my father pressure me to become a lawyer or doctor, putting my genius to better use than he thought I could as an actor

"Well, Red, if it doesn't work out, fuck it, drink a beer and walk away." - my father, right after I announced at age seventeen that I was getting married

When I fly, I try to read, nap, choreograph or practice my French, with the occasional slip into enjoying the in-flight entertainment (Virgin Airlines, anyone?).  Touring can be stressful, and I usually start my trip with too little sleep, often an early morning after a late night show.  If I don't pop in my headphones fast enough or close my eyes at the beginning of the flight, someone just has to talk to me (and even then).  I don't mean just asking me to let the flight attendant know they need an extra sack of nuts.  No, I usually fly alone and they want to have a conversation.  (I try to be friendly, but I'm no nonsense when I travel.  It's minimal makeup, jeans and my trusty John Mayer pullover.  I have a slew of things to do before my arrival, and recharging my personal batteries is high on the list so there's no time for chit chat.)  25% of the time I wind up in these conversations when I have no patience, not enough cocktails and too much to do.  The mile-high chit chat usually has to do with where I'm from and if I'm flying for business or pleasure.  Then they ask what I do.  When I reply that I'm a burlesque dancer (apparently surprising them because I'm not wearing feathers or shaking my sparkly titties all over the plane but instead I'm trying to catch some sleep), they always ask:

"How do your parents feel about what you're doing?"

Seriously?  I somehow manage to give them an answer that's geared more toward excusing what I do than really saying what I mean.  Why am I being so nice?  Because I'm hoping this ends the conversation pleasantly and I can get the fuck back to sleep or get back to reading some amazing book on my Kindle or perfect the phrase "Je veut payer par carte de credit."  I say "They don't mind and I've always been dramatic and naked.  I was an actor."

But let's look at this.  How do my parents really feel about my life choices?  Are they disappointed that I take my clothes off and entertain people for money?  Who really gives a fuck.  Are my parents satisfied with all of my life choices?  Do they have to be?

On the flip side of the coin, am I satisfied with their life choices?  No, but what does that matter?  With my entire family, I can truthfully say that I've been disappointed with at least five of the life choices of each person.  My dad smoked and had a wandering eye, bringing a lot of stress to my home life.  My mother wasn't the best person to teach me housekeeping and babied my brothers, expecting better grades and smarter decisions out of her daughters. 

Of course, they can truthfully say that I've disappointed each of them with at least five of my own life choices.  My dad used to get pissed off when I wouldn't eat my sandwich crust.  He also didn't want me to break into an abandoned house with my friends when I was sixteen.  My mother thought I should know better than to hit my older brother when he was douchy to me.  She also wanted me to do the dishes in a timely fashion.  How did they feel about those life choices that more directly affected them when I was a minor?  Weren't those a bit more pressing than what I do now, a grown-up who's been out of their hair and married since 1993?

No one is going to endorse every life choice you make.  But it's your life.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  You have to do what makes you happy.  (It's ideal if you don't cause harm to another person in the process, because that would interfere in their own pursuit of happiness.)  And people will respect your plucky integrity.

I come back to the advice from my parents at the beginning of this blog entry.  Great advice from the hippies who raised me.

Maybe I should wear a sleep mask on these flights.

Friday, February 24, 2012

My Final Reveal: Glitter Bomb Shoes

Oh no my shoes were caught in a glitter explosion! The shoes that were once taupe are now blue and crystal sparkle. Ten layers of glitter and Mod Podge, an hour and ten minutes of work since my last blog. I'll probably do one or two more glitter layers and a layer or two of sealant, then they're done.

In this photo, you can see the materials I've actually used during the shoe project. As I mentioned at the beginning of this process, you will spend more on supplies for a costume than you will actually use. I bought twice the glitter I'll use and a larger jar of glossy Mod Podge than I needed for this project. I also bought four small foam brushes and I've only used one, rinsing it out after each application. The cost of supplies I've actually cracked open and used on the shoes is $14.

My orange/pink/blue rhinestoned shoes were a great lesson. I thought I was so smart spending $10 on a pair of shoes, then spending scores of cash for rhinestones to glue on the shoes. I spent lots of time killing brain cells while using E-6000 (super toxic) to put the rhinestones on the shoes. When I selected them, I only considered the time I'd spend in the shoes during the number (less than three minutes); I didn't consider the time I'd spend in costume before performing, waiting for curtain call, hobnobbing after the show, and modeling in the costume. I don't do anything amazing with my feet while they're in the shoes, so I don't really need to draw that much attention to them.

With these shoes, I wanted something that would give me height but would be comfortable enough to wear for more than three minutes. I invested in the shoe and found a way to appropriately embellish at a rational cost. I won't do anything amazing with my feet in this number so they don't need to be encased in rhinestones.

Spent on this project so far: $167.48 and 13:35.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My Final Reveal: Shopping & Shoes

I took a little time away from my blue costume to travel and make puppets.  We finally wrapped up the puppets for "Rose: The Bizarro Zombie Musical."  We (the fantastic Evie Lovelle and I) made 100 snappers to give away at Southwest Burlesque Showcase.  I also made three puppets that sold right away at SWBS, and I spent a lot of crafting time making pasties that sold at SWBS.  I'm in LA for the next two months and I'm debuting this number the week before I travel again, so it's time to get back to work.

The gown is mostly done.  I have to set up a time to work with my buddy Evie on the hem and closures on the side of the gown that opens.  My thought was to have part of my panel skirt poke out the side, so I had to get panel skirt supplies yesterday.

I know I rhapsodize about Evie constantly, but she really is a great pal.  (We spend more time together now outside of burlesque than we do working on costumes and show stuff, but she is an incredible resource for costume ideas.)  She suggested I do my panel skirt with two colors of panels, and she knew the best place to shop for skirt fabric.  I spent $40 on 11 yards of light blue and 7 yards of dark blue net for the panel skirt, giving me just enough leftover fabric to blend the motif into the gown.  I have a couple panel skirts, but this one is going to be a cut above the others with its full skirt, fitted band, and hand painted panels.

I also popped over to Moskatel's downtown (wholesale version of Michael's that sells retail as well) for supplies to make glitter shoes.  I love my rhinestone shoes and I learned a lot from making them.  I spent more money on rhinestones than on the shoes because I thought I'd only spend the moments on stage wearing them.  Wrong!  There's all that waiting around in costume before the performance, wearing them before curtain call and while greeting the audience after, and wearing them for modeling.  A smart person would spend more money on quality shoes and smarten up on the embellishment.  Luckily for me, I'm smart.  I invested my money in good shoes, and the glitter project is less expensive than rhinestones.  (And does it really matter what I use so long as it sparkles?)  I spent $19.81 on four jars of glitter, some foam paintbrushes and some glossy Mod Podge.  I can always glue stones to the shoes later as accents.  It took about an hour for all of my hunting and shopping for this costume yesterday.

I started glittering my shoes this morning because the tutorial says it takes time to dry between layers.  I taped off the clear sides of the shoes and part of the soles so they didn't get glittery.  I started by delicately glittering the edges of the shoes, then I filled in the middle.  I'm going to work out while they dry and try to get another coat done before I head to the day job.

Total spent so far: $167.48 and 12:25.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Monday Night Tease! presents Doc and Stumpy Find Love

Monday Night Tease! presents Doc and Stumpy Find Love

Hosted by Doc & Stumpy
with Mad Dog Delaney

Featuring burlesque performances by:
Veronika La Tour
Glama Sutra
April Showers
Lili VonSchtupp
Caramel Knowledge
Kate Fox
Red Snapper

Quinn T. Sensual
Honey Ima Home

Bar Opens: 6pm
Seating Starts: 9:30pm
Show Starts: 10pm

$15 advance VIP seats available through Meetup
$15 (tickets available at the door - seating may not be available)

3 Clubs
1123 Vine St.
(Vine at Santa Monica)
Los Angeles, CA 90038

No photography. Performers subject to change without notice. Plenty of free street parking.

21+, full bar, no food.

Need help?
Email Lili with any questions:

Reservations available for parties of six or more, 818-378-8866 or

Follow us on twitter: @MNTease
You'll get updates and flyers for discounts.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Sixth Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase

Dancers, singers, aerialists and comedians from around the US perform a titillating tribute to the art of burlesque. Two different nights, two different shows! This year's Friday night headliner will be The High
Voltage Vixen Coco Lectric (Austin, TX), while Saturday's headliner will be The Reigning Queen of Burlesque Miss Indigo Blue (Seattle, WA).

Orchid Mei - CO
Scarlett Letter - CA
Burlesque Noir - NM
Bebe Barrio - CO
Lola Spitfire - CO
Bobbie Burlesque - CA
Holly Rebelle - NM
Pearl Lux -TX
ChaCha Velour - NV
Sophia Sirena - CA
Godiva Bleu - NM
Kellita - CA
Red Snapper & Mr. Snapper - CA
Jolie Ampere Goodnight - TX
September Smith & Jo Redline - NM
Kitty Irreverent - NM

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Urban Fairytails presents Alice in Wonderland

Urban Fairytails Presents: Alice in Wonderland

Hosted by Landon Cider
Created and Produced By: Juliet Duncan

Featuring Burlesque Performances by:

Dia Blow
Tiger Sparks
Red Snapper
Mr. Snapper
Scarlett Letter
Nicole Williams
Jeremy Bartel
Delilah DeMilo
Dumfree and Deever Tweed

Doors Open: 7:30pm
Show Starts: 8pm

Presale Tickets: $10
At the Door: $12

Urban Fairytails Burlesque - Fairytails with an Urban Twist and Grind....

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

That 70's Ho - It's All Happening!

Last night I had an incredible birthday show.  It was seriously amazing.  I'll share more photos as I get them, but I thought I'd share this little snapshot of me and my friend Jason (AKA Harry Mirkin) to give you an idea of what the evening was like.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Monday Night Tease! presents That 70's Ho

Monday Night Tease! presents:

THAT 70’s HO, A Disco Burlesque Birthday Show Celebrating Red Snapper!

Hosted by Red Snapper & Mr. Snapper  

with burlesque performances by:
Mr Snapper
Estella Detroit
Jessabelle Thunder
Glama Sutra   
Panama Red  
Red Snapper & Mr. Snapper     
Anastasia von Teaserhausen    
Mr. Buddy     
Bobbie Burlesque
Lee T Killer

and from New York City
The Rock n Roll Ventriloquist, Carla Rhodes

Bar Opens: 6pm
Seating Starts: 9:30pm
Show Starts: 10pm

Cover charge for February 6th, 2012
$15 advance VIP seats available through Meetup
$15 (tickets available at the door - seating may not be available)

3 Clubs 
1123 Vine St. 
(Vine at Santa Monica) 
Los Angeles, CA 90038

No photography. Performers subject to change without notice. Plenty of free street parking.

21+, full bar, no food.

Need help?
Email Lili with any questions:

Reservations available for parties of six or more, 818-378-8866 or

Follow us on twitter: @MNTease
You'll get updates and flyers for discounts.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dallas Burlesque Festival: VIP Awards Dinner

The festival draws to a close with the VIP Awards Show and dinner at Dish Restaurant and Lounge on Sunday, Feb 5th at 7pm. Hosted by burlesque personality, Violet O'hara, performers from around the country perform sexy and hilarious acts in one final showcase. will sponsor the awards ceremony which feature fun and lighthearted distinctions for industry performers. Ticket price includes admission to the show and a three course dinner from Dish Restaurant.


Tickets: $65 for Dinner and a Show

Hosted by VIOLET O'HARA and featuring performances by:

Iris Le'Mour
Grace Gotham
Lula Houp-Garou
The Dirty Blonde
Black Orchid
Red Snapper
Breathless LaBelle
Adele Wolf
Sugar Lee
Madamoiselle Cee
Rhonda Vous
Jasper St. James
Lily Wilde
Dem Damn Dames

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Southwest Burlesque Showcase: Puppetry Basics

Puppetry Basics with Mr. Snapper & Red Snapper

Learn technique to make your puppets look more alive, engaging and animated.  You can bring a puppet if you have one, but trainers will be provided. $15

Register here.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Invasion of the Snappers

Here is a smattering (roughly half) of the snapper puppets we're sharing with the audience for Southwest Burlesque Showcase next weekend. I'm really looking forward to the audience participation.

My husband has always shared Kermit's dream of making people happy. That's what we aim for with the number, one person at a time.
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